psychoanalysis views sex and gender as fundamentally non-normative.
Contrary to popular opinion, Freud did not pathologize queerness- in fact he said the opposite, that we, each and every one of us, are all “polymorphous perverse,” meaning that what makes us human is that our unrestricted sexuality seeks a pleasure beyond a social purpose such as reproduction. It doesn’t matter if you identify as heterosexual, homosexual, or even asexual- sexuality and its expression are more like idiosyncratic modes of enjoyment that cannot be categorized.
As a therapist, I aim to meet you as a subject whose life deserves careful and close attention like any other. No single narrative captures all trans experiences, which lie at the intersection of biology, psychology and culture. Having worked with nonbinary and trans clients for many years, I know there is no single definition of what it means to be trans. You do not have to teach me gender or queer theory- I am familiar enough with the literature/jargon, but you will have to teach me in your words, about the way you inhabit your body, how you make your life livable.
Here are some potential topics of exploration in therapy:
Ongoing ambiguity/ambivalence about one’s gender identity. The questioning or dysphoria around your gender or sexuality may continue after social or medical transition. Transition is just that- a process of ongoing change. As you age and have new experiences in life, your body changes, and therefore your relationship to your body will change.
Being perceived by others, passing and coming out. Sometimes, you feel ridden with anxiety being visible and seen by others, while other times you embrace how you appear. If you “pass” you feel safer and protected, especially in states that are less tolerant of trans people, yet when you pass you also suffer from invisibility and misrecognition. If you “come out”- this doesn’t just happen once but repeatedly, a choice to make each and every time you meet someone or join a group- and that can be emotionally taxing.
Sex and Relationships can change dramatically with transition. There is more uncertainty about one’s desire when the normative definitions of sex, sexual identity, and romantic partnership become unfixed.